God's Grace

I had every intention to update this blog sooner than now but it's just been one of those weeks. I have a long list of things to do while they nap and,when nap time finally comes, I just don't have the energy to get anything checked off my list. We've had a lot of quality time this week. Even when I'm not in the mood to do productive things, I am always ready to cuddle, play, and read with them!  I was thinking about that this morning on the way to drop Jay off at school. If I was hyper and energetic this week I surely would have stayed busy "doing" and would have had hardly any time for just being with the boys. I always feel guilty when I'm unmotivated and unproductive but maybe that is God reminding me to slow down and just love on my sweet children. My floors need sweeping, the bathrooms need a dose of clorox, my house needs to be picked up.....but do they really? I think what I really need more times than not is just to lay on the couch and read a book with my kids, play a game of catch, race some match cars, have a pillow fight, nerf gun fight, or make a huge mess teaching Jay how to bake muffins. Because that is the only thing my innocently wise kids will remember when they lay down to go to bed.

Yesterday Jay sat down to eat his breakfast and was passionately telling us a story when he knocked over his bowl. My immediate reaction was anger and exasperation. "Jay, you have got to start being more careful!  When we are at the table, it is time to eat! You don't need to talk, you need to focus on eating!"  I know, it sounds so mean when I type it out. And his little heart sunk, I could see it as soon the first word came out of my mouth. As he quietly finished his cereal I thought, "is a little milk on the table really worth all of this?" "Do I really want my boy to think talking at the table is so horrible?" Fast forward to when he's a teenager and I am begging him to talk, to tell me a story with that passion, I would never want to quiet that spirit. But isn't that what I'm doing every time I over react to something as insignificant as spilled milk? 

I was talking so a woman at church who has kids in high school/college and asked "How do I not screw my kids up?". She has become my unofficial mentor over these last few years. She is so wise, so Godly, so at peace with the fact that God holds her kids' futures and will take care of them. I ask her things all the time about parenting, God, marriage, etc. She responded with, "oh, shannon, you will definitely screw them up! But God's grace will always cover it." Thank God that He covers my many mistakes with His unfailing grace! I'm sure mom and dad felt like they messed up with us but, as I look back on my childhood, all I remember is how loved I felt when Mom tucked me in at night, how hard I laughed when Dad wrestled with us, how fun it was to go shopping with mom (because, during those shopping trips, she became my closest friend), or how unbelievably safe I felt in my Daddy's arms. It never occurred to me that they were stressed about saving for college, had a horrible day at work, or were just slap tired. I never saw it. I don't remember it. God's grace covered it.

As you can see, I've been reflecting this week. Every time I have weeks like this I am humbled to my knees that God chose to give us these perfect kids. Just this morning I was telling Jay that he really needed to hurry and get inside the school today (usually he meanders around making conversation with everyone in sight). I said, "it's really cold to you need to get your bookbag on, get right out of the car, and walk quickly straight inside." He said, "I know what I can do! I will skip!" As I watched him cheerfully jump out of the car and skip all the way inside I thought, "why isn't that my response to a cold morning?" I would have stomped in as fast as I could with my arms crossed, thinking how horrible it is that I have to be out in this ridiculous weather! Thank you, God, for teaching me through my dear little ones!

May the Lord bless them and keep them. May He make His face shine on them and be gracious to them. May He turn his face toward them and give them peace.

Now for some pictures:

Jay loves his "pajamas with the feet in them" that Carrie and Oren gave him for Christmas!

Fun at the zoo. Eli was thrilled about this baby lion, just his size

There is a glare here but Jay is cheezin big!

He was not happy when I picked him up to go find the real animals.

The fish are Eli's favorite!

Showing me an orange fish!

Jay was obsessed with this hedgehog.

He was super cute!

She had to keep asking jay to give him a little break from petting and just watch him. haha

Throwing catch with Daddy and Jay

Look at how well he is standing!

And oh so serious!

The youth group plays with him Wed nights and calls him a "future major leaguer". he plays catch all day long! Even when I give him a truck or other non-ball toy, he throws it all the same

climbing all over the rocks at the river.

playing in the dirt....what boys!

Eli was sure he was doing something very important and pitched a horrible fit when I made them come inside!

Marching!

I held my breath every time he jumped down and ran back up again.

Ok, so Jay has been moving down by Jake lately at night. This night, they started out on Jake's bed but I guess Jake got crowded and moved to the other side of the room. So Jay followed. This is exactly how we found him when he went up!  It is our new source of entertainment. :)

Working on a puzzle while Wes works

Eli loves playing in this car.

He loves riding in it too but Jay is a rough driver so poor Eli has had some close-calls...not that they deterred him at all!

Another night of sleeping with the dog. And, as usual, Jake moves to the other side for more room.

We have to go up every night after he's fallen asleep to move Jay back to his bed. Probably 5 out of the 7 nights he's down by Jake. The last two nights Jake has stood his ground and taken up the whole bed. So Jay has been in a tight ball with just his head on the dog bed. When we ask him about it the next day he always has some valid reason for sleeping next to Jake. "I was reading him a book" "he was scared" "I was scared" "i was showing him my gun" "he wanted to play with my car"

I know I don't post as many videos of Eli as I did Jay but here is a cute one. After watching Jay dip his food in sauce he decided he needed to also. But didn't quite get the hang of it. Again, it shows his cautious, thoughtful personality. Jay (and I) would have just smeared the food all in the ketchup and made a huge mess. Eli is so much like Wes, it's crazy!

I am really trying to get a video of him taking steps!  He has taken several completely on his own but I can't get him to do it for the camera!  And Jay is not the most reliable camera man either. Wes and I will work on that this weekend.